If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
