I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
