making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
