My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
