First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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