I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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