i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
