It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
