so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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