Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
