bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
