Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
