then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
