Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Randomize
