i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
