You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
