that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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