do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
