those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
