Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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