Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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