Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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