I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
