I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
