if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
