At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
