and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
