Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just had sex on a roof
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
