Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are my feet made of real feet?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize