Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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