ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
