IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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