I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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