well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
