oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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