i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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