worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He did a backflip because drugs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize