he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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