I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
