I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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