I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just found a bag of teeth...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
