once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
