I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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