Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
