No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
