Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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