wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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