i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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