but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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