There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
