oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
