Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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