your parents love me but you hate me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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