Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
