Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
