i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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