i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
