i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
