i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
