but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
