Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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