My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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