If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
