so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
