I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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