I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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