He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
