somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
