its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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