what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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