i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
