Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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