Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
