google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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