Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
