I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
